Showing posts with label marathon training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marathon training. Show all posts

Friday, July 08, 2011

All Right, All Ready

This is gonna be a quick post.

A)I am tired.
B) No, scratch that I am exhausted.
C) Logan leaves tomorrow for 11 days, so I should be hanging out with him
D) All of the above.

Yesterday, I decided to make up for my skipped run due to rain.  So G and I set out to tackle an easy four miler.  The heat was bearable, and the humidity was meh.  Us runners should be use to it though.  We constantly complain about the heat, the humidity, the cold the wind, the sun, the air..erm not the air.  Regardless of the conditions, we will probably complain.  Well...I will probably complain.  Maybe I should speak so generally?

Goliath was so not into photos
It was just like any other four mile run, except I am all like time obsessed these days.  My head keeps telling me I need to be pushing sub 8s, and my body is like "uhm what the frick? no."   Mentally, I want to be back to where I was last year at this time.  Holding an 8 for 8 miles, the idea of doing that now makes me want to vomit a little.  Speed takes soooo long to develop, and yet it takes so little to lose.  Frustration.

Forget my nay saying, it was a pretty good run.  Toward the end though my legs bricked pretty bad and I felt like I was running in sand.  I think it was a tad dehydrated.  Goliath was so tired.  I dunno what was up, but he actually sat down in the car. He NEVER does that!

Late last night, Logan and I were eating our dinner.  Yeah, it was almost 11PM and we finally got around to eating a nutritious dinner of chicken nuggets and twizzlers.  I am not even ashamed.  Sometimes, you gotta eat chicken nuggets and twizzlers for dinner.  I may have gotten a ltitle carried away and started being Twizzler Ninja when I started hitting Logan and teasing Goliath.  

I know it looks like I am just dangling it in his face, but I was dancing around and swinging them like nun-chucks.  When I would hit Logan with them, Goliath would intervene to defend Logan.  But instead of going to play fight back, he just went right for the twizzler.  
My dog knows what's up.  G's down with the Twizzlers.

We took it back though, Goliath may not know this but 
twizzlers are minutes on the jowls, 
but hours of loose bowels.



(so much for a quick post!)

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Never Know What You're Going to Find

Alright friends, we only have five days left. My insides are already churning. I'm getting flutterflies in my belly. I am so overwhelmed. AHH!!!

Honestly, I'm not sure where I'm at. I truly not sure what to expect and what time I'm going to finish. I guess I care and I don't care, I want to finish obviously but I want to do well. What I want more than anything though is to get this wait over with. Tapering is making my twitch. I want to run for longer than an hour. I want to run so long I can't feel my legs. I want to spend a whole day running....and I can't.

Saturday, I went on a run with my lovely seester. As of late, she's been upset that I have blogged about everyone but her. So maybe I signed her up to run a half marathon in November, and so maybe she's not trained for it-but she still loves me, and is ready to tackle this. I guaranteed her that running the half in November will get her a lot of blog-air and a super sweet t-shirt. Motivationally, it might not be for running accomplishment but she's doing it and I'm proud of her.

That's her on the left, obviously.

Emily has been my bestie friend since she was born. We kind of had some rough years growing up, but no matter the disagreement small or large-we've always managed to stay BFFS. Sharing a room with her for more than 14 years may have been challenging, but I wouldn't trade our late night talks as we tried to fall asleep or impromptu dance/jam sessions to Aqua or NSYNC for anything. Emmers was always an athlete, and still is-every sport out there she's dabbled with. We were a family of athletes (sans my brother), but she always has been the best. Hilariously, the only sport I loved she hated (volleyball) and the sports she thrived at: basketball, soccer, and running-I really couldn't stand.

We love each other.

She also ran cross country, and she was good. When she ran, I'd go to meets and never understand why these kids would run for so long. Funny right? Since then, she's pretty much stuck with soccer. ANYWAY. We went running to see where she was at so we can gauge where to start training. I don't like starting a run without a goal, but she just said "Let's go as far as I possibly can." We ran down KC's trolley track trail, which is where G and ran for strutt your mutt and the trolley run.

It was like "Take Your Dog to the Trail" day, there were a million people running with their dogs which always make it difficult for...everyone, because the dogs are always more interested in the other dog than who they are pacing with. Goliath did really well, except one time. He deemed only one dog worthy of a sniff, and since he was running on my right he wrapped around Emily. We averted disaster, but it was close. We took a few walking breaks, and turned around at the 2.5 mile mark.

Here's a tip: if you are ever running with a human partner, and you think it'd be cool to listen to the same playlist-DO NOT USE A HEADPHONE SPLITTER. That was the worst idea of the day. Between trying to coordinate Goliath and the splitter, Em and I were getting a little frustrated. So we are definitely nixing that idea, we'll just be importing the same playlist next time on different devices. The splitter was fun for like two seconds. Toward the end, neither of us were listening to much music anyway. I guess that's what it's like with running partners.

We finished five miles really strongly. I had more super duper cute pictures but blogger is being lame and won't let me upload. It was a family affair, our mom (y'all have met) went on a walk, and she met us back. Then it was bagel time. All in all, a wonderful way to spend my Saturday morning. It makes me excited to get in her into half training! Who wants to take bets she'll catch the marathoning bug too?!

Please see previous post for info on the newest giveaway!!

Total Distance: 5.0 Miles
Time: 50:12.13

Friday, October 08, 2010

Can Still Be Found

oh noes! deer on our trail!

WOAH. sorry. I suck. I know it's been well over a week since I updated but it hasn't been a week since I've been running and loving my pup. As you've already assumed, things got a little hectic around here-and yes the blog is the first thing that falls by the wayside when I have zero time.

Never to fear, the future looks less scheduled and what's that? THERE'S A MARATHON IN A WEEK.

This will likely be brief, but I just wanted to update y'all. I hate it when I get behind on posting, my camera fills with pictures and my mind fills with tales from the trail. So much like every run with G, let me try to catch up with FAQ:

Are you still training for a marathon?
-YES, I have been tapering. It has been very successful. I feel more rested and stronger than ever. My runs are slow, light and every other day-nothing exceeding 10 miles.
Are you nervous for your upcoming marathon?
-YES, a thousand times yes. A few weeks ago, I was more nervous than I am now. My anxiety has really shifted more towards anticipation.
Will you poop yourself during your race?
I don't know why people ask me this all the time, but NO-I will not be pooping myself during the most important race of my life.
Have you started carbo-loading?
I constantly carb load, so yeah sure.

Part VI of 12DoGA
Alright, so there's that. I recently mailed out some of the last giveaways and it's time for a new one....don't get excited it's small!

You may have noticed a new page called "Goliath's Gang" and it's blank! I'd like to post pictures of all my followers dogs and little story about your dog! If you'd like to be included please
In your email include a photo of your dog preferably with you, his/her story(age, breed, and name) any web address you'd liked linked with your pictures-if none, no biggie-and your mailing address!
Everyone who submits a photo will get a goodie bag from Goliath!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

That Grind Don't Stop

I get really emotional. I can grit though the toughest stuff but when it comes to things like change, and accomplishing things: I get wicked emotional. The last few days I have been completely wrought with anxiety....and overwhelmed with feelings. I just have a lot of feelings. A few months ago, I signed up for the Kansas City Runner's Edge group training run for the KC Marathon. It's not a big training group, it's just a run they organize for anyone training to help them with the longest run during training.

Knowing me, and my flakiness-I signed up so I would have no excuses to not get 20 miles under my belt. Little did I know, that this farting run would cause me more anxiety than the actual race. For SOME reason, I couldn't help but freak out that maybe my training wasn't where it needed to be do this distance and that I was going to totally embarrass myself. My training style for this marathon has been pretty unorthodox, and honestly I haven't stuck much to a rigid plans as I have just gotten out there and followed a 10% build up each week. Every run for me is a fartlek, and every run I struggle to figure out what I need to do albeit hydrating, fueling, and gear. So for someone who still is trying to figure out their rhythm, showing up to a group run with other runners who've been training (and probably more consistently) was a little intimidating.

Admittedly, my nerves got the best of me before I even walked in the door. My drive there I turned up my 5k play list CD, and tried to just relax. Then that stupid Inida Arie song lyrics hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt like I had to cry-but I couldn't cry because I was so nervous-but I was so nervous I wanted to cry-and then I got angry. KNOCK IT OFF. I don't know why I allow myself to be consumed with self doubt, and wrapped up in minutia like what people might think. God forbid, someone laughs at my gait. I quickly changed the song, to "Let's Go" and tried to get amped. As I pulled into my parking spot, I saw other runners all geared up walking into the shopping center to get their wrist bands.

Sure enough, the demographics were exactly what I feared. Guess what my first thought was? Dannnngggit, you're the fattest person here. ACK, everyone was super lean and super toned and looked super fast. I took a deep breath, and got out of my car. I felt like everyone was staring at me, haha look at the noob, as I walked in and got my wrist band. Thankfully, I planned on meeting up with two guys from the marathon's facebook. They both found me, and distracted me from being a big ball of nerves. One of which, Scott, talked me into this didn't run because of an injury-but just came for moral support, he knew a bunch of people there and introduced me to a few. Then Eric, who I talked into running this. Eric and I had decided to stick together, thick and thin-running and walking.

At 6:30 everyone lined up with a pace group, much like a race. My group kinda huddled around our pacer, Lynette. We shot the poop while we waited for a time to be called. Since this wasn't a race, they were really strict about not wearing ipods. Ya'll know me and my obsession with my ipod, so here I am: longest run of my life, with essentially strangers, and no ipod. I was seriously struggling to not shut down from nerves, so I pushed myself to talk to people. Once I got to talking and introducing myself, I kinda started feeling more like myself. It didn't even take me a mile to realize, everyone there was just as unsure, if not terrified as I was.
The organizers did a wonderful job, and the pacers were amazing. There were water and fuel stations every 2 miles, the pacer answered all your questions and everyone was just rocking and rolling. Our whole group was really chatty, and I hate chatting-but there I was just kinda running my mouth about anything and everything to whoever would listen. We talked about how we got into running, our jobs, our family, TV and movies, stuff in Kansas City, other races we've ran, fueling and nutrition-basically everything. Other than the fact that I had to pee wicked bad, I didn't realize I was even running. Before I knew it, we were at the 10 mile mark. Say what? I didn't even feel like I had ran ten miles.
Everyone had the option of turning back, and running the route for the desired distance-with the maximum distance option being 22 miles. I had talked Eric into pushing 20 miles, even though he only intended on running 18 per his schedule. Selfishly, I begged him to go 20 and I am ever so thankful he agreed. At mile 10, we found out our pacer wouldn't be splitting back to complete the back mileage. Most of our group went on to run another mile before turning around, but Eric and I split of at 10.
Without a gaggle of runners, we just kinda paced our way back and took it really easy. The front ten miles were pretty thick with runners and other groups, but the back ten we'd go for a mile without seeing fellow trainees. As the mileage increased on our garmins, it got progressively harder to put one foot in front of the other. By mile 16 we were both ready to call it and Eric said he was considering walking the final two miles. I didn't mean to get all cliche and motivationally hackneyed on him, but I was like "Buddy, you don't want to regret this later. You know later this afternoon you're gonna kick yourself in the butt for not pushing those last two miles!" He agreed and we kept trucking.
My mom drove by and honked us a serenade of encouragement. We ran through our last aid station, and then it clicked that we were almost done. HOLY CRAP....eighteen miles are finished, two more to go. My legs felt like bricks, but I was on top of the world. Those last two miles, were sooo smooth. Dare I say, smoother than the first anxiety-ful firs two??! With a half a mile left, we ran into this guy...

This is Moose, and 11 Month Boxer.
We both HAD to stop and pet him, being that we a) both love dogs and b) really love Boxers. Eric has a boxer name Daly, who also is tattooed on his arm-that's love. And well, you all know the boxer in my life. Moose had enough energy for the both of us, he showed us how he can sit and shake-and we could tell just from a distance he was a fun dog.
Moose shook us on our way, and before we knew it the shopping center from where we started was in view. It was surreal, had we really just logged 20 miles? Like TWO-ZERO. It felt like TWO. We finished really strong, and even felt like we could do more. Walking into the shopping area, the air conditioning was shocking. We high fived and were just generally elated. Walking to the area where we checked in, we strolled by a huge wall of mirrors. I glanced over my shoulder and said "Yeah,we looked like we just ran 20 miles!" and snapped this...

we killed it.
That's right. I ran 20 miles, and it felt second nature. No one made fun of me. I enjoyed myself. I will be back next year, and I guess this means I'm officially trained to run the KC Marathon. Oh and this is how I recover:
Total Mileage: 20
pssssttttt...12DoGA: GU Winner is Kate Smith! Kate email me your address, and the GU is yours! Thanks for your support! Part Two of 12DoGA coming to a blogpost near you soon.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

No Control of My Body

Obviously, I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately. As the W&R Marathon approaches, I can't help but be pensive about the mileage that has gotten me here. The problem is: thinking about what you have done doesn't really help you get what you need to do...done?

I have a little over a month left. I have a 20 mile run scheduled this weekend. I have my clothes planned out. I have printed the map three times. I have counted down the days for almost a year. I have never been so overwhelmingly consumed with one thing ever before. It's not an exaggeration when I say it's ALL I think about.

On Saturday, I had my first month lifetime weigh in and spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with Goliath. We tripped to the dog park, and pretty much just maxed in bed allllll day. I needed the rest. I need a day to just NOT think so farting much. The weather has been absolutely gorgeous, and yet the dog was fairly empty. We walked a few laps, drudged the mud and explored the wooded areas.

These pictures crack me up...sorry.

Not even kidding, I spent all day Saturday....and well most of Sunday with the G-Dog. We did some running Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. For the most part, my body has been completely cooperative but recently old injuries and problems have been surfacing. My stress fracture sites are flaring up, my toenails are on the brink and I am trying the find a balance in over and under hydrating.

goofball tried to lick my ear

When I run I have zero problems, in fact these days I've felt better than ever. Something in my brain shuts down, I feel no pain and can go for miles. The second I stop, for water or for Goliath to drop a deuce something will get me, albeit nausea or shin pain. I'm doing my best to stay on top of overuse injuries, and experiment with gatorade. Today's run was a different story. I thought I had found the key to feeling like trash after runs, but guess not. Sometimes dehydration isn't as simple as drinking water. I have been drinking a suggested about of water, and gatorade before and after runs-but even with that I couldn't help but feel like puking at my split today, and as I arrived home.

Something just isn't right, I can't pinpoint it but mark my words I will get to the bottom of it because I can't handle how I felt, and feel now. Maybe I just need to get back in bed.

Today's Mileage: 5.2
Time: 47:36

12 DAY of GIVEAWAYS UPDATE: OK faithful followers, the time has arrived! I can't believe we got so many subscribers over the weekend! Thanks! Be on the look out, the 12 days of giveaways will be starting any day, any moment-and be ready, you're gonna want this stuff!! I've got a full page of things to give away including...hah, sike-no clues, pay attention!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

If I Die Young

It will be because of stress, and said stress making me push myself too hard during a run. Obviously, things haven't been going my way and my training has been kinda wayward. I run when I can, and when I can isn't very often. So my lack of updating is due to my lack of real training. Not that I'm not running I'm just not really training. I'm still running, but more for my sanity and more like "Oh Ok I have twenty minutes lets get two miles in and head to work stinky."

In the last two weeks, I have worked nearly 200 hours. No lie. Two jobs, and one coming to an end really took a toll on me: mentally, physically and emotionally. My head and my heart are in a million different directions, and my to-do lists have escalated and when I sit down to accomplish something I'm ignoring something else that has equal priority. Like right now? I smell so bad. I need a shower, clean and do laundry-my poor husband wore his swim trunks out last night. HE could easily do the laundry but it still made me feel guilty.

When push comes to shove, me and my family priorities fall by the wayside and everything else comes first. It's just a huge character flaw. THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE. So I did. I resigned from a position, and had my last day yesterday. It was so bittersweet, and I cried my whole way home. It's hard for me to be the one to "give up" or "quit" especially on such a personal employment and commitment. But the bottom line is this: if I didn't stop this commitment my other commitments would ultimately terminate because of my lack of focus.

I know this post doesn't seem to be directly about running, or marathoning or being a dog-mom-but it is. Indirectly. Whatever it is you commit to do, you really have to have to confidence and desire to put 100% and sometimes even 70% will get you there-but if you commit to five things how do you give 100% or even 70%? You can't. Exerting yourself 20% gets mediocre results.

Ya'll know how I feel about mediocrity.

I finally feel like I'm getting caught up on sleep, and laid around this morning until about 10. Golaith whined all morning, and I had no reason not to run this morning. After a week of ignoring my 5am alarms to run-I finally laced up and press start on the 405.

As hot as it has been, it was VERY decent outside. Very decent? That makes no sense, but I think 86 degrees with 70% humidity and the heat index at 93degrees calls for "very decent."
Goliath and I had an awesome 10k run. I stopped frequently to let him drink, and cool off-so don't call me negligent. We have a need to feel that thunder, so we pushed 9s and then a negative splits of 8s. Amazing run, and I don't think I've been this sweaty in weeks. Heat exhaustion tried to set in, I felt myself getting chills around mile 5-so I took out the headphones to pay closer attention to my body, eased up and ultimately finished strong.

On a run like this, I know DOMS will arrive sooner than later so I'm off to spend a solid half hour on my foam roller.

Mileage: 10k
Time: 50:02.15

Monday, July 05, 2010

Rain Is A Good Thing

Sunday = Long run day! I think it was so exhausted, that it's prevented me from updating.

Goliath and I woke up around 4:30AM to run 9 miles. Why so early? Well we had plans at 10AM and that's the price you pay for being a marathon-runner-in-training and, I guess being my dog.

When we started pacing, it was slightly humid and still dark. The fog lifted, and then the rain set in.

It misted, then it sprinkled and then it poured. By the time it was dumping inches, we were at our split and waiting it out under a bridge. Several other runners and bikers whized by, probably thinking we were wusses-but the short break paid off.

The rain halted, we set off and half a mile later it picked back up.

As it was raining, I started thinking about my half marathon PR at Rock the Parkway. It was pouring rain, even hailing. I thought of this because, never have I ran so well in my life until that race and it was in horrid conditions-so why not during training am I sluggishly pushing each quarter mile and dreading the rain? Maybe it was the leash burn or maybe lack of sleep, but just recognizing that I could perform better in worse circumstance made me run just a little better.

Goliath, of course, ran just fine. Especially with the prospect of creamy Jiff in his future.

Total Mileage: 9.0
Time: 1:28:03

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Put Your Foot in My Nikes

Last night was beautiful. Beautiful. After a long week, I was really looking forward to a night with the dog. The hubs had plans with his little brother, so it was just GoGo and me. We lounged around, snacked on some apples and peanut butter and ultimately wound up at the dog park. A weekend ritual that is seemingly unavoidable. Goliath's girlfriend Sarai (a boxer-mix) was there, along with his boxer pal Mishka. Another boxer showed up, 9 month old Archie. The four of them created the ultimate-boxer-club, and I'm pretty sure they thought they owned the park. That is until a Malamute named Seneca wanted in on the fun. Unfortunately, the OP Boxer club was much faster and Seneca was always late to the party. Doggy separatism aside, I had a good time with my fellow-furparents. It's pretty funny the people you meet just by forced interaction.

No surprise here: I overslept this morning, and didn't get start on training until close to 11. There's some Fourt of July festivities being set-up on my trail, yes I said it MY trail. So we took a right turn over a bridge to explore part of the trail we'd never explored. Much to our dismay, after 0.3 mile it lead to a deadend on a street. No wonder we'd never gone down that way. After two miles, we took a hiatus in the fountain. Today, it was hot enough that I got in. Say what you want, I was a kid this afternoon. Goliath was ecstatic to have me in the water with him. Several people joined us, and played with G too.

Both soaking wet, we finished the run. Happily. I like to think it was obvious we had been playing in water, but I think the looks we got means that people assumed I was just really sweaty.

This picture courtesy of Patty K. who took this and emailed it!

I burned 497 calories on the run, so what better way to replenish the deficit? FROZEN CUSTARD! The Bosky Family piled in our car, and ventured to Sheridan's for some delish custard. We particularly love this place because they serve complimentary doggie cones. Too bad a doggie cone doesn't suffice for this Goliath-sized sugar tooth.

Mileage: 4.0
Time: 38:13.04

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Just Enough Time

OK FOLKS: My rest weeks are over. I gave myself two weeks to "rest" before full marathon training. I think we all know why rest is in quotes, I did run slightly. Nothing over five miles, and did do Dog-n-Jog-but nothing major, nothing that would injure myself and nothing that boosted my lactate threshold.

And since this blog is about honesty, this week (week one) of training was basically non-existent. I hadn't fully wrapped my mind around training. I think if I don't start, maybe it won't happen? Am I chickening out? maybe. I'm sorry, the thought of running 26.2 miles TERRIFIES me. Training for a half didn't intimidate me at all, 13.1 really seemed totally manageable. But double that, and I'm shaking in my nikes. Seriously, who's idea was this? Oh right, mine.

I'm registered. I have a solid training schedule. I have a great running buddy, and support for long runs. Why am I so nervous? The thought of crossing the finish line nauseates me, and gives me chills. This will be, hands down, my biggest physical accomplishment-maybe even take out that modifier, my biggest accomplishment. I feel that if you can run a marathon, you can pretty much do anything. If you can have the wherewithal and the mental fortitude to run 26.2 miles, then you have the great glass elevator. You can go anywhere, you can do anything.

True to form, I've set some lofty goals for this marathon. Nope, finishing isn't enough. People "just finish" marathons all the time. At the KC Marathon I will: 1) Run the entire thing, only stopping for stations and maybe stretching 2) Finish sub4 hours 3)Set a half marathon PR 4)Really enjoy it.
Can I do it?
111 DAYS TO 26.2

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Taking the Long Way Around

Oh my, is it really Tuesday? Have I really gone this long without updating you? Shocker! Well, it's official, marathon training is in full swing and my schedule is three days of running and three days of cross training and one full day of rest. So how does this really translate in Julia+Goliath land? Three days of running, and three days at the dog park.

Schedule in mind, I'm still trying to fit Kyle into the mix and help him with endurance and taper myself for a half marathon next week. Juggling the aforementioned has been tricky, but since I'm "tapering" cross training is kept to a minimum. Long runs fall two days after a tempo or speedwork day, and that meant Friday was LRD. Have you ever seen me post about a long run on a Friday? Or what about a run on Friday at all? Truth be told, I don't think since I've started running I've ever put in serious mileage on a Friday. Mainly because my Weight Watcher's meetings and races are typically Saturday mornings.

Regardless, after work on Friday (yeah, in the evening too...) Goliath and prepped up for what was sure to be a grueling eight miles. Let me get the whines out first: It was HOT. It was HUMID. I was TIRED. It was MISERABLE. There, with that said it was the most gratifying run I've had in a long time. I had to stop every so often, and my sweat was coming down in torrents but I finished it. Unintentionally, I went at marat-race pace which is what I'm suppose to be doing anyway so it worked out. The heat and humidity really took a toll on my endurance and my attitude. It's not like running in ten below, where after five minutes you get acclimated. The heat doesn't go away, and it only gets worse with every mile.

The good news? We saw a DEER! It was a baby buck, and I was so delirious that at first I thought it was a great dane off it's leash. It took me a whole minute to process, oh hay that's no Marmaduke! Goliath wanted to play with the little guy so bad, and for a second I thought the buck wanted to as well. He inched toward us, as I stood completely still- isn't that what deer do? Goliath's whining to get off-leash eventually spooked him off.

Like the brilliant genius that I am, I also did not realize that the city water fountains are on! HOLY BALLS! This was a game changer. I almost went hypoxic guzzling water. Hilariously, this old gentleman sitting at a picnic table stared blankly at me as I drank like I had never seen water and when I finally had my fill, he said "I hope you left some for the rest of us." No sir, I didn't. The entire city of Overland Park will now be without water until the troops can bring in reinforcements.

Friday's Mileage: 8.01
Time: 1:12:07

Monday, February 15, 2010

Couldn't wait to get goin' but wasn't quite ready to leave

Well, we're back! Aspen was beautiful and vacation was needed. The absence from Goliath was nearly more than I could take, I think I might have a little separation anxiety myself. Call me obsessive and crazy-but I love my dog, he makes me smile when no one else can and he goes with me when no one else will.

It's been nearly two weeks since I've laced up the Bowermans, and secured the leash. And I'm really feeling it. It's right about this time where the hormonal low starts to get to me. The depression sets in, and the motivation isn't hard to find. The problem? My health. It's the total pits right now. Without getting into all the gory details, and sparing you photographs I had some minor oral surgery on the previous Friday, and there were complications, and complications to the complications. I'm on high dose pain killers and oral and intramandibular antibiotics for the next three weeks, when I will have hopefully my last round of surgeries.

This couldn't have happened at a more inconvenient time. Of course right after vacation and the dead middle of marat training. I've missed so many days of training, that my fitness level and lactate threshold will be null. I've laid in a bed for a week, I've lost a little over ten pounds. Ten pounds of muscle mass. I'm nervous.

What do you do after set backs? Where you pick back up in training?

Usually, I'd just go out for an easy run to see what I can do. I want to be 100% but I can't wait another day. I don't want to push myself too much too soon, but that's kind of who I am. I've come to accept that I'm an "all or nothing" kind of person, but I've also come to accept that this part of me needs to change. It's why I keep getting injured, It's why I'm considerably more frustrated with my training than your average runner and It's why I've never been able to just relax.

When I'm not pushing myself there's a knot in my stomach that's akin to that rock you get when you feel guilty. It probably is guilt. Guilt because I know I can do better than whatever it is I just half butted.

While I know it's not healthy to be this hard of myself, especially while I'm trying to recover in the first place, I don't really know any other way.

Baby steps I guess.