Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts

Monday, June 18, 2012

Time is Love

Today, I made a vow.

I vowed to start blogging again.

Ya'll have heard all the excuses before, so I'm just gonna skip it and jump back to where we left offf.....

So quick recap of the last few month since my Kansas Half Marathon recap:
-Finished three more half marathons since then: Running with the Cows, Kansas City Corporate Challenge, and Hospital Hill
-Bailed AGAIN out of a triathlon
-Tried to jumble a training schedule, and work and school and well everything
-Failed to blog
-Gained some weight
-Paid off some debt
-Ate some good food, mostly candy

Thaaaaat's about it.....why do I blog again?  I am relatively uneventful, yet somehow I can always find a way to fill the page with words.  I'm mouthy like that I guess.

I have been thinking about doing a reformat, reorganizing and just generally redoing the blog.  Like new name and everything, but while the creative juices flow we shall stick to The Bosky Blog, a punny blog that no one fully understands.


Anyway, on to the important things.  I am not registered for any more races this year, well long ones that will require extensive training or maintenance.  Which really excites me because now, I feel like I can focus on different goals. Like getting to my goal weight, building some muskles, getting faster and giving my knee a chance to heal.  So next year when I go to attempt six half marathons in five months, I won't feel totally terrible about myself and lack of progress.


There's such a thing as tangible progress and intangible progress.  Quite honestly, if I have made any progress in the last year it's completely intangible, and I am unable to recognize it.  Ya'll might think I am too hard on myself, but the second I give myself a break I get stagnant and placid....and end up with a year of zip, oh like last year!


I need to focus, and werk.  It's like wicked hard to start, but I got out there today in 100 degree heat and hit the trail with my pooch.  We hit the hills, did some strength training moves and worked up a decent sweat.  The best feeling in the world right now is just being able to get out there, with no pressure.  I can relax and get the benefit of my run without stressing myself out about pace and my upcoming PR goal.

Goliath likes it too, because he doesn't feel so bad when he wants to stop and smell the pheromones.


What I ate today: Coffee with half and half and sugar, 1 cup of hot and sour soup, chicken and broccoli over white rice, slice of supreme pizza
How I worked out today: 3 mile sweat fest with Goliath

This Post Brought to You By: "Time is Love" Josh Turner

Monday, November 21, 2011

Girl, You Talk Too Much

It feels weird to not be training for anything.

Like seriously weird, and I have feeling my blog is a lot less interesting when I am not running....uhm, because this is a running blog, right?  Who wants to read a running blog sans the running?  I know I wouldn't.  

Miraculously I woke up this morning with no pain in my knee.  Amazing.  I wake up every morning and flex my knee, and test it out to scale the pain.  Today, I don't know what happened but it was like overnight my knee completely healed.  Well, that is until I took Goliath for a walk after work and at about mile one it started to get a tad achey.  We did a total of 1.5ish miles according to dailymile.

Our brief little jaunt was amazing.  It felt good to be out with the pup, and boy was he excited.  I got a little worried though that his leading me on leash during runs could be putting a lot of stress on my joints.  I am not going to think that way, I am going to be positive.  I think my POSITIVE attitude healed me knee over night.
Okay, so there's a difference between being positive and being delusional.
I made this amazing pasta dish tonight:  Shrimp and broccoli over whole wheat egg noodle and parmesan cheese.  ZzZomMgG!  Droolskis.

Here's how I made it: Steamed broccoli and shrimp together, prepared pasta, stirred together in a giant mixing bowl with lots of garlic, red pepper flakes, pepper and olive oil.  Tossed cheese on top.

Today's Food Not Pictured:  Greek yogurt, coffee, tortilla soup, rice, strawberry greek yogurt, fruit snacks

...and Today's Daily Picture:

Totally rockin' the sweats.
Are you currently training for anything?
Are you reading this?
How often do you wear sweat pants?

Friday, November 18, 2011

Dance, Dance, Dance

There are few things in this world that buffalo wings can't solve.

Thursdays are my busiest day, so sorry for the late posting!  I was pooped when I finally got home last night and passed right out.  

Well let's see, yesterday I kind of had this epiphany that I am OVERLY negative.  Not just lately with the injury, but I am naturally cynical, prone to impatience and negativity.  So much of my energy is wasted getting worked up over silly things that don't matter, and I really don't think that kind of mindset is conducive to healing, or conducting a healthy-happy life.

So adding to my never-ending list of things I am trying to work on is: Cultivating a positive attitude.  It sounds pretty hip and like something I should already be doing.

Here's my daily picture, and my first though is UGH Why am I so short, but now I will just say YAY I am so short, being tall must be so burdensome, ducking into door ways and finding long pants:

These are my favorite heels, and I my knee is stable enough to wear 'em

My food today was nothing short of extraordinary:

Buffalo wings and a margarita for dinner

Not Pictured: Cheese egg sandwich, coffee, turkey chili, wheat thins, apple sauce, Greek yogurt blueberry

I did a HARD hill interval work out on the bike today.  It got me sweating fast and it felt so good.  The muscles on the bike next to mine kept looking over at my console and I could see him eyeing my calories burned, and in my mind I could see him speeding up trying to get his burn near mine.  The resistance is key bro, resistance bro.

How do you stay positive?
Blue cheese or Ranch dressing?
Do you love or hate hills?

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

All On My Own

Work out tapes are kind of hilarious.

I bought a bunch of yoga DVDs to enhance my personal practice, and see if I could get fresher ideas to incorporate into my classes...but instead I got this:

What is this??  It's like an 80s step video with deep breathing.  The cover was totally deceptive.  I thought I was purchasing a hip and innovating yoga sculpt routine.  What I actually got was women in high waisted pants, taking deep breathes and and instructing me to do ballet moves.   Practice has definitely evolved.  I could barely get through 20 minutes of this non-sense.

My self-esteem is totally in the terlet without running.  I feel huge.  I feel sad.  I feel blah.  With that said, I am really trying hard to take time to make myself feel better.  Spending time getting ready and looking good is definitely helping.  I still feel like Shrek, but even a little lipstick on Shrek is an improvement.

While I can't run, I have decided to take a picture of myself every day to remind myself that: 
1) Darn it! I am kinda hott. 
2) I am more than my weight.
3) Running does not define who I am.
 I am really digging my new headband!

Focusing on my diet has been extremely easy since I have all the time in the world to do it.  I have my dinners planned and enough wherewithal to whip up breakfast and lunch in a healthy and quick manner.    
Breakfast Today was Italian scrambled eggs and whole grain toast....oh and of course, coffee.

Lunch, a genius left over idea. I tossed the rice and broccoli together, and stirred in a can of tuna.  Sounds weird and stinky but it was delicious.

All day though, I looked forward to dinner....see a pattern?  I had turkey chili simmering in my crock pot all day.  I made it EXTRA spicy.  It was oh-so-delicious and I am really excited about it for lunch.
Not Pictured: Peach Chobani, Pineapple, Shredded Coconut-chocolate thing I made up.

Now I leave you with adorable picture of Goliath:

Do you do any work out DVDs?
What effects your self-esteem?
What do you put in your chili?

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

You the Boss

My big news today is that MY MRI WAS NORMAL.

I should be happy right? Well I am and I am not. I am relieved there is nothing serious, but I am frustrated that I have no diagnosis and no treatment plan. Which I guess is kind of silly, because essentially all treatment and therapies will be the same and all will prevent me from running for the time being. I just want to be able to be say "This is what is wrong, this is what I need to do and this is when it should be better."

Instead, I have "Well the knee itself looks okay, but it still hurts...and pretty bad, buuut nothing is wrong!"

Frustrating, and confusing. I haven't been really sure what to do from this point...I was literally told "follow up with us if the pain persists" if I have pain tomorrow do I call or six months? What kind of time frame are we looking at here? Nothing,

I think because I am not some world class athlete, that is super buff and in shape, my problem seems trivial and silly to an outsider. My life can go on without running, and if the pain is only unbearable when I run, stop running. Am I right?

Settling for that is not something I am willing to do, however. Thankfully, I have an open access insurance policy and can refer myself to any kind of doctor I so choose. Tomorrow, I see a reflexologist-because hey, why not? I have reached out to a physical therapist, a sports medicine clinic, and an Ortho clinic.

I will not rest until I have ANSWERS!

In the meantime, I am REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY going to focus on my food intake and my welless program. Clean up my eating a bit and forecast my year in wellness at work as I start a new job.

Did I mention I start a new job in two weeks?

Here's what I ate today:
Oatmeal with apples and peanut butter, Albert Einstein approved
Hummus and pretzel crisps, and a protein bar (quick lunch at work)
Apple and peanut butter
Sushi with salad and crab Rangoon

Now that my belly is full I am content for now.
Don't forget about your chances to win a TON of cereal

How do you react to good-bad news?
Have you ever tried non-traditional healing methods?
What is your favorite sushi roll?

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Good Morning, World

Ok, So my attitude SUCKS.

It is really bad, and we all know why...I have been avoiding the blog like the plague because it makes me face the way I feel and what I am doing.  I feel like such a hypocrite, I want to be this Wellness Warrior and yet I can't gracefully handle this setback.

It's JUST my knee.  It's JUST temporary.

But for some reason, my attitude SUCKS.

The best I can say is this:  You never really know how much you love something until you are forced to turn your back on it.  Cliches are gross.

It's true though.  I love running, so much.  I am not GOOD runner.  I am not an EXPERT.  I am not FAST.  I am not ELITE.  But I still LOVE running.  I really love to run.  

There is nothing more freeing than being out running, and no having anything but that at that moment.  To just be running.  

It is impossible for me to fully verbalize how I feel when I run.  I have this truly existentialist moment when I run.  When I run I just AM. 

In the last three years, I have transformed myself from a self-loathing-overweight-depressed-mess to a confident-healthy-happy-mess.   It's not just a phase.  I have fallen completely and utterly in love with this sport. 

I use to think that if it weren't for Goliath, I probably wouldn't run.  I know now how untrue this is.  Running validates who I am and how I feel.

There is a lot in this world that brings me joy, I have so much to be thankful for.
Running brings me the mental clarity to appreciate these things.

So yes, my attitude sucks but when I am in a funk what do I do?


Sunday, October 23, 2011

Breaks the Sea

Torn Meniscus.


Torn MCL.


We won't know until my MRI in a week. Doc wants to give my knee two weeks of NSAIDs and support to let the swelling go down.

In the mean time, I am figuring out ways to manifest my anxieties and stress. Friday night, I had a wonderful dinner with my mom and her two friends at Blue Grotto in Brookside.

Sitting by a fire pit, drinking red wine and shoving food in my face was step one in grieving.

Step two was meeting my new love Andre. SwellMary brought a new puppy into her life and he is gonna be a big 'in. Great Dane. He is aaaadddoooorrrraaable!!!

My final step, was well...a picture is worth a 1,000 words right?

Up next: The Anatomy of a Gym Bag and What I thought about my first spin class.

Have you ever had a MRI?
Do you go to exercise classes? Which ones?
What's the newest song on your iPod?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Without You

So iOS5...What's that about??

Ironically, I am blogging from my macbook that never got updated from OSX to leopard, and can't even support an ipod shuffle, as my iPad updates to iOS5...

So as I am using my laptop and my new found pride and joy, I was forced to flip through some old photos.  This is the laptop I bought for college, and honestly in the last year I have probably used it twice.  It's been neglected, which should never happen to any apple produce.  This evening I reluctantly forced myself to do those tedius tasks like deauthorize my itunes account on this device, sync my media to another hard drive and sort through old photos.  The last being the most dreaded of them all.

What is it about a photo that regardless of how terrible it is or what emotion it evokes, it's hard to delete?  I guess, for me at least, it has to do with the fact that a photograph captures a moment and if you delete that moment is gone, despite what connotation it carries.

I have flipped some of the most useless photos tonight, and can't bring myself to dispose of any of them.  Some of them serve a purpose though.  Some might say what I am about to do serves no positive purpose, but I want to share with you some photos of me.  Pictures of a time in my life where I was happy, but not happy with myself.  A time before I changed and a time before I ever even thought about changing.   

The before the Before pictures if you will:

To be fair, I did not go through all my pictures and select the worst ones. I just wanted ones that didn't have uncosenting friends in them.  

Why share these?  Well, why not?  These aren't my "fat' pictures, because at the time I certainly didn't see myself that way, no I was not comfortable but what late teen is?  In a few short years though, I'd reach my breaking point.  And now, almost five years later I feel better than I ever have.  It's weird to look back at my before-the before pictures and kinda feel uneasy because even though I felt okay about myself then, I feel confident about myself now. 

So like my new iOS 5 update that is taking five years to download, I too took five years to upgrade.  I just had one of those "daaamnnn! you look good moments" and a girl needs that every once in a while.  

Do you delete photos?
Have you ever used photos to reaffirm yourself?
Any of you Apple users update yet??

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Such Great Heights

Are you like SO sick of me saying SORRY?

I am.  But I am sorry as well.  The little weekend away in Chicago totally threw off my schedule and sleep patterns...and well this week of all week's was insanity.

WHY??  I'll tell you WHY!!

My company launched it's pilot work wellness program.  And guess who is on the board?  Mmmm that's right me.  It sounds hilarious to say I'm on a board and it's a program, because it all started when my work spouse, Stephanie, said "hey you know what...." and then the ball got rolling.  We got our director on board, and another collegue and then we gave birth to: PRActical Wellness. 

Get it?  Because I work at PRA (which stands for pharmaceutical research associates).  

The idea behind PRActical Wellness is a work based health initiative to encourage wellness at the workplace.  We have coordinated on site exercise classes, healthy round tables, outside speakers, weekly/daily raffles, race sponsorship and sooo much more. 

Thursday, after the whirlwind weeks of planning and scheduling, we kicked off.  At noon, on Thursday Stephanie and I anxiously stood in our biggest conference room not knowing what to expect.  Who would show up?  Were people really interested?  Is this going to work?

Slowly, people trickled in, enjoyed our healthy snacks, listened to our pitch and plan, and then asked us questions.

Yesterday, we offered primary health assessments.  Stephanie and I weighed, measured, tested and assessed goals for everyone and anyone who was interested.  At the end of the day, both of us were in just utter-overwhelming-pride-disbelief....THIS IS HAPPENING!
One of our first raffle winners!!

Now with that said, PRActical Wellness is now going to be a big part of my life and want to share it on the blog, so watch out for Wellness Wednesdays!

Do you have a work wellness program?
What kind of health benefits does your employer offer-if any?
What kind of things would you LIKE your employer to offer?

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Just a Little While Longer

Direction. Who needs it?

Do you ever have nights where you just wanna do absolutely frickin nothin? I dunno, I don't have enough of these nights. Nights where I just make friends with the couch, and watch reruns of How I Met Your Mother.

Anyway, my anxiety is incredibly high and when that happens I kinda just shut down. Aaaaand since I can't run (thank youn sinus infection) I am just eating.

Since I am cranky and in a bad mood, here are some pictures from the weekend.

How do you veg out?
How was your three day weekend?

Thursday, July 21, 2011

All You Have Left

Yesterday, I just really needed a day. 

Irrelevant to this post...but it was my lunch yesterday and it pretty?

It has honestly been a really long two weeks, and yesterday I reached a point where I kinda just shut down.

Attitude is really everything though.  

In the past two weeks I have: turned in six papers (yay for accelerated classes, right?), went without power for three days, thrown away hundreds of dollars worth of food, destroyed my cell phone, broke a window, struggled with unemployment woes, juggled a huge work load at work, sat in Municipal Court for three hours, worked mandated overtime, ruptured my ear drum, had a puking dog, had my annual review at work and many others.

But yesterday at 2:00 PM it all melted away.


Answer: The Ice Cream truck.

Yeah that's right the ice cream truck showed up at work.  My work is the boss, and got all our employees ice crizzeam!! Remind me to NEVER use the word crizzeam again, it sounds gross.

Attitude is really everything.

With the right attitude and ice cream, I can handle anything.

By the way, the right ice cream is a frozen Snickers bar.

Yesterday, I just really needed a day.

Tomorrow, I start working on me again...