Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Big Ole' Muddy River

Today, I don't really know what to say.

Overwhelmed.  That's all I can say. 

It's recently dawned on me that I have assumed way to many responsibilities, commitments, extra curriculars and things of the ilk  My motives are so good, so genuine.  I just can't keep up.  I can't keep up with school, and work and my family and my friends and the boards and the charities and all the training and and...
wah wah wah

Yesterday, was just one of those days where everything was wrong and I was negative.  I found myself crying in my office.  My eyes had been brimming with tears most of the day, but the levees finally gave way around noonish.

I didn't want to do anything.  I did not want to eat healthy foods, I want a burger.  I did not want to run, I want to sleep.  I did not want to do my homework, I want to eat.  I forced myself to do all the things I knew I should do, but had no desire.
sleepy dog head

People always say that when you do the things you don't want to do, you will always feel better about doing them.  In a way, I guess people are right.

Training had me running 5 miles, and after the day I had I seriously could barely lace my sneakers.  Anyway, I convinced myself that a run was what I needed.  That running always makes me feel better.  That a nice long run would empower me, give my self-confidence back, take the yips away.

I was wrong.  Sometimes running isn't a cure all.  Sometimes the solutions to your problems won't appear to you by mile three.  In fact, my mind was so preoccupied that I could barely focus, worries from work muddled my mind and I'd feel myself slowing down.  I ended up running 5 in 48, which isn't too bad.

So no, running didn't make my poopie day better.  But when you are going for broke, at the very least I can say I ran.  So it does count for something.

Sorry about the uber-downer post ya'll, but rainbows after ran ya know?



Melissa said...

When I moved last year and had no job prospects, I was in a major funk for a while. Running and working out in general really helped. I also started blogging a lot more, mostly to just get my thoughts our of my head. As far as food cravings go, I think it's important to indulge them once in a while. Usually I'll eat a huge burger and fries, then wake up and feel like crap the next day. It reminds me why I love to eat hugh jass salads for lunch.

Maybe try writing down what you're stressed about, and maybe see if there's anything that can help alleviate that particular stress. Sort of a "divide and conquer" mentality.

Also, sorry for writing a novel :)

Becky said...

When I'm in a funk I either watch a movie that I know will make me happy (ex: Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs) or I will read a book that is uplifting, motivating or generally happy.

Sometimes I just ask Andrew to talk me through the things that are bothering me.

Whatever the case may be... it's always ok to have a down day. And if you post about them, that's ok too. Get it off your chest and out of your system. :)

And my favorite comfort food is a bad one... homemade chocolate chip cookies. My own recipe. Mmmm.