Thursday, September 23, 2010

A Hundred Times More

Well that's it you guys! We made it: 100 followers and coincidentally my 100th post!

For TBB's 100th Post, I am going to take it down a notch on a more serious scale.

As my marathon draws closer and I continue to do more reflection, I can't help but wonder why did my life turn left when it should have gone right?

Only one really specific thing comes to mind.

In April of 2007, my Great Aunt Mickey was diagnosed with stage three small cell lung carcinomas and by November she was gone.

Now I know you're probably like Great Aunt? Ooook? Mickey wasn't an aunt, she was more than that. See I had grandparents, but before I as five they were gone. Mick was always there. Every basketball game, every girl scout event, every school play and anything and everything where she could support me she was there. Not only for me, but everyone in my family: my sister and brother alike, and especially my mom. She was always there.

It's hard for me to explain, even iterate why and how important she was to me.

I didn't have a Mom and Dad. I had Mom and Mickey.

Long story short, I was alone with Mickey when she first took the news and I was holding her hand while she took her last breath. Every step of the way, I went with Mickey. She knowingly helped me grow up and I was unknowingly helping her face her mortality. On Thursdays we'd go to chemotherapy, and chow down on KC bar-b-que afterwards while she still had an appetite. Along the way she dropped knowledge left and right.

In those months, I never fully faced what was happening. I was 18. It was my first real experience with death, I had never seen death. And how hackneyed is this? It changed me.

Hardcore, it messed with me.

With all that typed out, I've thought long and hard about who I would dedicate certain miles to during my marathon. I recently read Ashley's marathon experience and how her dedication helped her. I've read that the last six miles are a complete out of body experience, and these are the miles that you dedicate. Those are the miles, you need that special someone there with you.

My conclusion is to dedicate my entire marathon to Mick, I owe her every inch.

Forgive me if this post is cliche laden, but after she died I lost direction. I turned left when I should have gone right. It took me nearly three years to find my way back, but now that I'm almost there I need to remember her.

She'll be at the finish line in my heart, because unlike Mick she'd never miss a sporting event.

Thank you guys for getting TBB to 100s! It's time to celebrate!


ashley & sundance said...

LOVED this post! I'm sure your Great Aunt Mickey will be with you every step of the way!

And trust me, dedicating miles is the best thing I've ever done in a race. It's such a great way to keep yourself motivated when things start to get tough (and it will get tough!).

btw... when is your marathon???

Lauren said...

Great post and very sweet, I hope you have an awesome marathon experience and way to go on the 100 followers!

Crazy Lo said...

I love it. I think you're a standup person, and you will make your aunt very proud in the marathon.

Kandyce said...

Love the post and she will be with you in spirit every step you take :)

Ashlee said...

Such a sweet post! I am sure Aunt Mickey will be there cheering you on, and she's gotta be super proud of you!

jillian416 said...

Hi Julia!!

I enjoy reading every post you blog. You are truly an inspiration to me so bc of that, I've given you a blog award!

Becky said...

Wonderful post, Julia.

You know she will be there with you every step of the way.